Monday, August 18, 2014

I have found favor where I haven't earned it

HIS Timing

What do you do when you hear the answer is no?

Does it depend on whom it came from?

What the question was?

How strongly you wanted the answer to be yes?

I remember interviewing for a promotion in December and for the first time in my life, I felt peace when the “waiting game” started. I knew that I had done the best I could and if it fit with God’s timing, great, if it didn’t, I knew he had better plans for me. (I did end up getting the job which I’m currently in and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this department)

At the end of December I got rid of my AWFUL roommates (one wasn’t so bad but together not the best living situation) and God gave me my awesome current roommate within weeks. While I hated how long it took to get rid of one of the girls, it was clearly God’s timing because he managed to make sure the timing of the leave and arrival aligned so the other half of the rent was covered the entire time (even though that itself was an interesting situation). It also was perfect timing because a month prior, my new roommate wasn’t ready to move to another place. Funny how God aligns a girl from bible study I had only known a few months to help me in a difficult situation.

Then in May, I interviewed for a leadership program I was extremely interested in. However, God spoke to me very clearly throughout the entire process, telling me it wasn’t the right time. I didn’t listen (I’m shall we say, a little bull headed, haha) and I didn’t get chosen for the program.

It was the first time I walked a path I wanted to take but God blocked that I finally understood how to immediately react with understanding His timing is better than mine.

While I’d like to say the entire time I had this Godly serenity before me, you can clearly see I was listening to my own desires and not God’s. During the application and selection process, I was like Naaman from 2nd Kings 5. Naaman was a great army leader who had a skin disease. He sought out Elisha the prophet for healing but instead of getting to speak with Elisha, he spoke to his assistant. Naaman feeling slighted, originally chose to ignore God’s instructions. However, he had someone talk reason into him. He then listened to the instructions and was healed.  

I think all of us at times really need that someone to talk sense into us. Good thing we have mentors, small groups, churches, and hopefully, “accountability partners” that many of us have taken advantage of. I’m blessed to have many of these actually.

I recently read Gabrielle Douglass’s book “Grace, Gold and Glory.” That book resonated with me on many levels but perhaps most importantly because she has a mother like mine. One who has scarified over the years to make sure I could get where I was going, who was always there for me, and to remind me of the important things; even when I didn’t want to hear them. She wrote this in her book and I can’t think of a more fitting quote and response:

“I performed so poorly that I didn’t even want to compete on the second day. ‘Why wasn’t God there for me?’ I cried to Mom. ‘I prayed, I quoted Scripture-I did it all. I feel like He abandoned Me.”

‘Mom didn’t miss a beat before offering me another perspective. We don’t always understand the big picture of why God allows us to have certain experiences,” she explained. ‘You just have to put today behind you and focus on what you’ll do tomorrow. You can do this. It’s time to persevere.”

In between this and the next step I took, I started wondering about my place in the company. I looked elsewhere for jobs, considering leaving the company. I started questioning my place in a company just a year ago I had been praising God for placing me with. Funny how quickly we forget God’s blessings to us and the path He has set us on and the lessons He just taught us.

I recently interviewed for another leadership program. This program would be a much better fit than the first. I do know this, I listened to God and know this time, it was a right step to take. I still might not get in, but I’ll have learned something in the process that was vital to being successful. ***

God puts people in my life to help develop and grow me. Each person has a specific timing of when they enter, and sometimes, when they need to exit. God uses them to teach me something. Some have taught me how to love in ways I didn’t know before and others have taught me things about myself like how to control my temper and teach me patience.(I think we all can always learn that lesson...but don't ask God to teach it to you because His sense of humor is greater than ours and He will surely present you situations to teach it to you!)

She really does sleep like this on my floor air vent...Booger!
He even places lovely adorable dogs in my life because he knows I yearned for one and can’t turn away one in need. Just when I thought I was only going to foster for a couple weeks…ha!

Kenzie is learning to love kayaking with me!

When anything happens, whether I get my way or not, I remind myself, God’s timing, has always been greater than mine. I have found so much favor with him even when and in places of my life I feel I haven't earned it. I can find His promise to me both in the Bible in His writing to us His children as well as His goodness to me in the past.




***Honesty Disclosure: I had almost completey written this blog minus minor editing a couple weeks ago. I recently found out I did get into that other leadership program. Even if I hadn’t, my feelings would be the same. God’s timing, is always better than ours.  This just happened to help emphasize my point :)