How dare we express anger and outrage at God for the exact
blessings we asked for?!
That statement greeted me one Friday evening as I gathered
with other Christian women to continue to grow our Faith.
What does she mean? I thought with confusion. How could I be
upset with God for blessing me with things I asked for?
She continued to elaborate.
“You pray to God over and over again for blessings.
Blessings in your career, family, church; you name it, you’ve probably prayed
over it.”
Fair enough. Most Christian women have prayed over every
aspect of their lives. Career, friends, husband, children, future husband,
future children, ministry, love life, the world, salvation, how do you narrow
this concept down to one area?
The lady continued; you’ve prayed for God to bless you. But
when He does, you judge the way in which he has done it. Or the ways in which
he didn’t. How dare you! God fulfilled his promise to you. He blessed you just
as you’ve asked him to. Perhaps, you should consider the way in which you
strategically pray or; the way in which you perceive his blessing!
Wow. My mind is whirling in a thousand directions. I think
of the time I asked God to break my heart for what breaks His. A common enough
prayer for a young college student. Thanks to that particular prayer, however,
I now have a strong heart for high school girls and serving them weekly. How
many times do I wish I hadn’t asked for that calling? How many MORE times do I
end up thanking God for blessing me with that calling? For through that, teaching
me more lessons than I could possibly teach those girls?!
My mind roams onto the next area. The one that appears to be
at the forefront of my mind at all times these days: My career.
I’ve been blessed in this area more than I can possibly hope
or imagine. Over the past two years, God has allowed me to pass four HUGE
financial tests on the first
attempt. What a stress relief! I am one of the youngest managers at the company
who’s been promoted from within. I’ve been given opportunities that most hope
for. All and all, my career is a rocket headed for the sky that I may have lit
a short fuse for; but God catapulting beyond anything I am capable of
accomplishing.
Then I think of my personal life. The decisions I’ve made
around friends and boyfriends and I take a brief halt. This area leaves a
slightly bitter taste in my life. Every time I log into Facebook, someone else
is engaged, married, having a child (no thanks!), traveling to a foreign
country to teach English, or something else, and I think: Am I missing out? Why hasn’t this
happened to me?
Then I think back to the previous subject I was on. My
career. How much have I been blessed in that area?
What have I prayed for religiously (excuse the pun) over the
past few years? To find a job. With a company I love. In Charlotte, Raleigh, or
Charleston. Rise to a manager position. Obtain my Certified Financial Planner®
license. Make friends. Love the city I’m
placed in. Love the church I go to. Find a place in that Church I can serve.
Have not all of these needs been met and more? Did God NOT bless
me in EVERY way possible in these prayers?
Then why am I still sitting here complaining about all the
ways He didn’t bless me in all the ways I didn’t pray for? What have been my
priorities over the past few years?
Easy Answer: My Career.
Where has God blessed me in the past few years?
Answer: In my Career. That I placed high and above every
other priority in my life.
Yes! I sit here complaining because he didn’t answer my
prayers. What prayers?!! For every one
prayer I've sent to God about finding the right man, God answered the ten prayers I
said to him about my career. God cares about my priorities so he blessed the
ones I placed first in order for me to feel His favor.
And yet, I still sit here like a sullen little child at
Christmas who has hundreds of dollars of presents sitting around me with pretty
much everything I could ask for, whining about the one little present I wanted
but didn't get. Because maybe, I wasn't ready to receive that yet. (I'll leave that for another time).
What a spoiled child.
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