Monday, August 13, 2012

Living the Single Life

Have you noticed the closer and closer we get to graduation, the more and more people that are getting engaged? Is there something in the water? What is this time pressure to get married?

For the most part, I’ve never really felt the need to engage in dating. In this aspect of my life, God has put a mature look on it. Sex before marriage? Not for this girl. Hanging out with an immature guy? Nope, not interested. I’ve had a handful of boyfriends, dated some great guys, but at the end of the day, I just didn’t feel more than friendship. That doesn’t mean it has been easy to take the single road. It’s just something I’ve felt really convicted about. I mean really, where in my busy life do I have time for my friends let alone a boyfriend? Something I decided awhile back was until I get my life together with my friends and quiet time with God, I’m not dating.

Listening to Perry preach about dating and relationships and what to expect from a boy, wow, I’m thinking I might never meet a guy that would meet those expectations or at least can meet them and is single. I do firmly believe in what Perry has said, but three things in particular stand out:
1.     A guy should pursue the girl
2.     Twitter, facebook, texting  DO NOT count as asking a girl out. Man up.
3.     A guy should have to grow closer to God to pursue you.
Now, I’m sure there are some great guys in Clemson. I sure haven’t met any single ones that seem to match this criteria and where there is a mutual interest. So, it’s been relatively easy to keep saying no.

One guy told me this past year, my expectations were TOO high. Seriously? So you think I should lower them just for some guy who won’t remember me in ten years? I think not. Now, many of you are wondering why I’m posting about something that seems easy. The reason is, it isn’t easy for me. Many of my friends think I’m fine being single and that I’m taking the right path (even though some of them haven’t done it as well) but God has really convicted me about this. However, when I’m a third wheel or sitting by myself at home on a Friday/Saturday night doesn’t mean I still find it easy. A speaker at FCA spoke this Spring and I have these notes which really resonated with me:
John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy.”
John 8:44 “When he lies, he speaks his native tongue,, for he is a natural liar, and the father of all lies”
The Top Five Lies of Satan
1.     There’s nothing special about you
2.     Your net worth determines your self-worth
3.     Your position determines your power
4.     Being single, makes you second class
5.     God doesn’t want you
I think we would all be liars if at some point, we didn’t believe/struggle with at least one of these. I’ve believed all five at some point. Now, you guessed it! I’m struggling with number four, being single makes you second class.

With so many engagements, dating, kissing, relationships all around me, and nearing graduation, yeah, it’s hard to be single. Society has made me feel second-class because I don’t have a serious boyfriend or fiancé. Guess what, God hasn’t called me to be “normal” or fit in with society. God wants me to wait on the perfect guy HE PICKED OUT FOR ME. If it was a good enough plan for Ruth (and God gave her Boaz) I think it’s a good enough plan for me.

How can you NOT want to wait for the guy God has hand-picked for you? I’m not saying I’m not going to date until this guy walks on rainbows and clouds and appears before me but I’m going to wait until I meet a guy I think has the potential to be the guy God wants for me.

I ask for some encouragement in this area. It’s only going to get harder to see more friends get engaged and more friends to meet some great guys. Make no mistake, I’m very happy for them and am glad that their time appears to be now. It just doesn’t make it easier. Thanks for your encouragement guys!