Thursday, June 28, 2012

Blessings rather than Spitefulness

If I would’ve been offered a job six months ago in Columbia I’d have said no thank you siree. Living with my parents again? Living in a city with virtually no friends left in it? Live in a city that seems to not really offer anything? No, I had 99 cities to consider and Columbia wasn’t one.

So where did God ask me to go? Duh. The one place I TOLD him I didn’t want to be. Lesson #2: Never tell God what you will do, learn to consider what he wants you to do.

Do I think God put me here to spite me? I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind. Guess what though? God is bigger than petty emotions like spitefulness. He just wants what is best for me. Now I’m getting the blessing to finally see it and try to follow along.

Why did God place me in Columbia for the summer? I’ve asked this since the moment I found out and it has taken some time to open my eyes and see and now that I have, I’m learning more and more each day how awesome God was to place me here, to see my weaknesses, see how I could work on them here, and how to keep myself out of trouble.

1.     I live with my parents, it’s not exactly exciting in my spare time which means I get rest. For anyone that knows me, you understand that the crazy amount of classes and work and team, etc during the school year doesn’t really allow this. I’m finally getting feels awesome.
2.     I work in a Baptist Financial Foundation Office. The entire building is a daily workplace for God’s kingdom. I need that daily reminder of God and positive work environment so I can grow in my walk because it pretty much sucks, but I’m working on that.
3.     I’ve been saying I wanted a Master’s Degree in finance, my internship this summer in a financial office has really affirmed that decision. (I’ve learned so much!)
4.     I GET to be around NewSpring all summer, enough said.
5.     As a result of the above, I GET to volunteer as a chaperone for the Gauntlet.
6.     I’m getting to spend time with my parents as an adult, and finally respecting why they’ve made some of the decisions they have. It feels good to get to know them as adults and not just my parents. Who knows where I’ll be after graduation in less than a year?!
7.     I’m away from harmful influences. Alcohol is a struggle I have. For those that know my background you understand alcohol and partying isn’t something I like to deal with. I’m not 21, being the youngest intern is always hard when you’re rooming with those that are. Now, I don’t have others around me influencing me to drink because the rest of the group is going out.
8.     I’m saving money by living with the rents. No rent, utilities, or groceries? $500 a month saved easily. (Now I’m learning to tithe faithfully)

I’m sure there are many other reasons I’m here but these are the main ones and those I feel comfortable sharing. God has blessed me even when I was angry with him for sticking me here.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

My Search....

Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. Last summer, I was given a great opportunity to travel the country to teach rifle, something I’m passionate about. At the end of the summer, I knew the next one might not be so easy because I would need to “grow up” and get an internship to gain the experience and credit for a resume that I currently lacked. I started the search early back in October and went hard, applying to companies of all kinds (that’s the great part of being a business major, every company needs ‘em) large and small.

I talked to many about this search and my Christian friends calmly reminded me God would put me where I needed to be. Meanwhile, my non-Christian focused friends assured me that with my resume I would surely be a hit with companies and get what I thought I wanted. Now take a guess who had the better sense?

I prayed fervently that one of my top choices like Proctor & Gamble or Bank of America would give me an interview and then internship. I did make it to an interview with P&G but didn’t make it to the next round. During the entire search, I prayed to God asking him to place me where I needed to be while at the same time inwardly cursing the fact I was very unsuccessful with the entire process. By beginning of finals week I had to accept the fact I wasn’t getting an internship. I was ungrateful about it and very angry with God for what I believed at the time to have “failed me.” God never fails you, you just fail to trust him 100%.

God has a great sense of humor, no one can convince me differently. While I sat there fuming trying to scramble plans together for a summer and income to pay the bills God was laughing and asking when I would decide to submit. I tried to say I submitted the whole process back in October (lies) I again said I wasn’t panicking in April (again, I was lying). Finally, during finals week in May I said God, I’m not getting what I want, honestly this time, please help my bull-headedness and show me what I should do this summer. I originally thought it was to take classes and work in Clemson but God had different plans.

I received an internship at a Baptist Foundation office back home. I tried to wrap my mind around living back with my parents, where I didn’t have many friends at, at Baptist office when I definitely am not Baptist, to a job I never even considered two months ago. This job is not what I expected my summer to look like, but exactly where God wanted me, giving me exactly what I asked him to. It becomes clearer and clearer each day….

Trust is key. I definitely got that message so I’m learning to trust God. Living with my parents wasn’t easy at first, it’s still not, but it’s getting better. That’s a story for another day.