“You have plenty of time for that.”
“Patience is a virtue, just try to have some.”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Really, I’d rather have your freedom”
“You’re young, enjoy it while it lasts”
These are all statements I’ve heard numerous times from different people over the course of the past year or two. In fact, it’s a speech I’ve heard so often I could probably repeat verbatim from memory. Much like those lectures I know I’m sure to receive from my parents when I do something stupid happens and I have to call to tell them. (Confession: Sometimes I practice these lectures to my roommate in my Dad’s voice to prepare. As she and I can both tell you, I’m getting pretty good at predicting exactly what will be said. I can even give the lecture to myself and have done so in front of my parents, much to their amusement.)
Despite knowing all these lectures by heart, hearing them hasn’t really gotten through to me. It frustrates me to hear them and instantly, I start blocking out what the individual is saying to me.
Maybe if I had tried listening and not gotten frustrated, I might actually have gotten somewhere.
See, most of you are probably scratching your heads trying to determine what topic I might be talking about.
Keep scratching, it should become obvious as you read further.
See, I’ve been asking God about this for the past year now. Where was I going wrong? How was I different than those around me? Should I compromise? Lower my standards?
That statement has gotten through loud and clear from God. I just wasn’t sure what the explanation was behind it. (Not that God owed me one because he doesn’t, I just wasn’t sure when he was going to reveal his plan to me. Repeat what should be stamped onto my forehead: All in good time, child, all in good time.)
It was about two months ago I started receiving clear messages. Ones that left a little bitter taste in my mouth until I washed it out with some humble pie.
Let me tell a story first. I’ve been listening to Pastor Perry at NewSpring for 4 years now. Even from the beginning of my freshmen year this lesson has been taught and interwoven into more sermons then I can recall or count. “The right Christian significant other for you is one that you have to grow closer to God in order to grow closer to them.”
I’ll be honest, this concept has baffled me for 3.5 years. It might seem simple but I just didn’t get it. How could a guy cause me to want to grow closer to God to get to him?
When you really like a guy who is really interested in say football, don’t you learn everything you can about the sport? (Unless you live in the South where apparently teaching the concepts of this game is as important as teaching the alphabet to your kids).
When a guy is really truly focused on God, don’t you want to have the same values as him? Want to demonstrate you are that focused on God as well? Doesn’t seeing their desire and passion for our Heavenly Father cause you to want to have that same passion?
I “met” a guy that caused this for me. A guy who’s passion and desire to seek the Lord in each situation and proclaim it to the world was more than I thought existed. A guy who was my age, outgoing, hardworking, and similar interests. It really astounded me. I’m sure this particular guy has no idea the effect he has had on me. Then I made the connection between what Perry had been preaching and I smiled. Perry does tend hit the nail on the head even if it takes me some time to understand.
So I’ve tried to start pursuing God with this desire. The desire to grow closer to God and along the way I might have learned a thing or two.
Here’s the thing though.
1 Timothy 2:11 “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness”
Proverbs 31:10 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
1 Corinthians 7:4 “The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife”
Colossians 3:18-19 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
Do any of these describe me?
No. Not yet.
My career is really important to me. I worked hard to get where I am and want to continue working hard. Am I willing to consider a man in my life and put his needs first and submit or compromise? Not yet. Am I worth far more than rubies? I have way too much to learn on my own before I bring someone else in the mix so definitely not more than rubies. Am I taking care of myself health wise? I recently started dieting, getting back into running, and getting more sleep and rest because I realized I wasn’t.
I’ve watched friend after friend, get hurt over relationships that haven’t turned out well. If I already know I’m not ready based on the above, why was I getting frustrated? Sometimes it takes time to put it all together. So now, I’m putting it together and thanking God. Thanking him that I’m not getting heartbreak brought into my life. Thankful he has placed a wonderful lady in my life who has taught me what a Christian marriage is supposed to look like and how as a couple and as an individual, you grow closer to God.
I’ve still got a lot to learn but hopefully, I’m saved some trouble and heartbreak along the way. It’s funny, God really does have my best interests at heart but just like with my earthly father, I have to grow more mature to appreciate it. Sometimes, it takes that special...guy....situation...nudge..alignment of the planets. Huh, I guess wisdom does come with age.