The Noise of Silence

The Noise of Silence

It was in the moments of silence

I heard you the clearest

In the moments of despair

I dried my own tears 

 My fingers reached for the phone 

But we’re met with a blank screen

It’d been two weeks

Since I heard a peep from you there

Not a text or a call

Or a tag to be found anywhere 

They told me I built

My walls too deep

Too wide

Too high

But it was for moments like these

I thanked the bricks were in place

I was the most vulnerable that night 

Baring my soul

My woes

My cries

It was the first in my life

I got real

I went wide

Sharing it all

The pain wafting from my pores 

You heard it in my voice

You saw it in my face

For the first time in my life

I needed you there

I needed to come first

It was my turn to share first

Your turn to hear

I could sit back 

While you reached out to listen 

But it was evident this time

That now I no longer

Served your purpose

It was In those moments 

Guard let down

I found out in these moments

Who were my friends

Who had my six 

How do I know

The question would go

It was the moments of silence

I heard you the clearest. 

Joy

This isn't final but I currently don't care. Sometimes I think showing more of the rougher, needs refinement pieces have more meaning than the polished, well articulated outcome we are more prevalent and used to seeing. 

Joy

I started the year 

proclaiming Joy for all to hear 

I guess the devil heard me too

As he stood up and said

Challenge accepted, my dear 

You see, we Christians know better than 

To pray for patience 

As God will surely

Give you opportunities to work on it

And I guess Joy was the same 

Kind of thing

I started the year

With merry and mirth

Friends stood up and took notice

Proclaiming the joy they felt

Somethings new

Somethings different 

They said

Good

Was my one word response 

But the devil had two

Always needing to go one more step to

My one

As he chucking replied

Game on

Two months went by. 

As I found joy in my work

Joy in my friends

Joy once again

In my worship

We can’t have that

This can’t last for long 

Said the devil

He gave me a chance

He gave me the time

To fall off the wagon myself

But when I didn’t

When it sustained

See, I was doing a new thing

And it was lasting

Did you know joy and happiness are two different things?

I found out the hard way

Happiness is found in my circumstances

Joy comes from the Lord

Joy isn’t found in who I am

But in whom I am

He started ripping it all away

Piece by piece

Week by week

How long did my praises last?

Not long he found

I put on a fake smile

Cheerful face

But deep within

The well was dry

I was angry with God

I was angry at my Father

He was supposed to be there to protect me

He was supposed to be there for support

So why then

Did it feel as if the roles were reversed?

Time heals all wounds

I’m not sure if I believe that

But you have to practice

What you preach

So here I am

It wasn’t supposed to be this way

But life often goes

On a different road

Than the one you were on

If you take one wrong turn 

It only takes a minute for you to end up on that long back road

Will I find that hidden gem diner?

Or run out of gas

On the side of the road?